Hey Jerk on the Bike

I know that you’re cool, and you have the moral high ground over all those gas-guzzling pricks. I know that you pedal away, and you’re a target to all those steel dragons. I know that pedestrians don’t notice you and step into your way. Sometimes other bicyclists do things to piss you off as well. Know what? Quit being an asshole. I bicycle to work myself, but seeing some of these jerks on their bikes, it’s no wonder that relations with vehicles are somewhat strained. The guy who made a left through the oncoming traffic, fancy-ass bike and yellow spandex glistening and flipped off and yelled at the poor guy in the SUV he almost hit. Or the guy who suggested to me that I was ‘going the wrong way’ when I was a block past the Broadway Bridge which has a lane closed and I cleared well out of the bike lane for his passage. I’m not griping about signal-running, and stop sign running, and making lefts where they aren’t allowed…I believe that this is fine behavior for a bicyclist. But be frickin careful and respectful when you’re doing that. Mistakes happen…you don’t have to be a jerk about this imagined coda you adhere to and call people on it when they interpret it wrong. Let the anger go. We just want to ride too, and we have to coexist with the cars. They’ll be there, and they’ll be bigger, and that twit with the cellphone is totally over their head, but it’s your job to expect them to do the worst, most life-endangering act, prepare for it, and smile and wave when it doesn’t happen. Let’s not wreck the public perspective of bicyclists the same way that smokers tarnished their reputations as actively as they could, so many totally neglecting social considerations up until voters actually started doing things (smoking is my god-given right! I don’t care what you’re eating.).

Update: dangit, forgot to include the last bit. Jerk on bicyicle, if you can’t get over your issues, it’s time to pull out the Razor Scooter and ride with your 12-year-old peer group.